I wanna talk about a viral moment on social media that literally felt like I was watching a South Park episode.

I was on TikTok the other day, minding my own business, as people usually do, when I saw the most funny thing ever. There’s this video of this guy from a city council saying who “Etsy witches” were throwing curses at the city council members. Not metaphorically. Not as a joke. As a formal concern. Raised at a government meeting. In the year 2026. I don’t think I’ve ever found something more funny than that, nothing funnier than the videos I see online mocking alpha males throwing shade at each other.

Here is the thing about Etsy witches, they are genuinely real, they are genuinely thriving, and at $7.99 a curse they might be the best value proposition on the internet right now. I don’t think I fully understand how is it that they operate, or if what they are doing is even real or just a scam. But there’s nothing I love more than seeing women (and men as well) hustle and get the bag. The trend exploded in 2025 after a string of very public, very successful hexes. A woman hired one to get good weather for her wedding. Blue skies. Not a cloud. People lost their minds. Online witches have since been credited with saving weddings, securing jobs, and reportedly influencing basketball games. NBC News ran a full piece on why 2025 was the year of the Etsy witch, which means this is now documented cultural history. [NBC News]

So when a city council member stood up and expressed formal governmental concern that Etsy witches were specifically targeting him and his colleagues with $7.99 curses, he was not operating in a vacuum. He was responding to a genuine cultural moment. He had seen the receipts. He knew what these women were capable of. He looked at his colleagues across that conference table, in that room with the bad carpeting and the agenda printouts, and he decided the most pressing order of business was to alert everyone that there was a spiritual threat incoming and it was available for purchase with free shipping on eligible orders.

The part that gets me, the part I genuinely cannot stop thinking about, is the energy of a man so convinced of his own importance that he believes women are spending their discretionary income specifically to curse him. Like if women don’t have anything better to think or do than to be throwing curses at them. This is the same energy as every alpha male podcast where two men in matching pullovers explain to each other, in complete seriousness, that women are intimidated by their success. “Women are the cause of all problems and misery” sure thing. It is the same energy as the comment sections where men who refer to themselves as “high value” describe elaborate conspiracies designed to humble them. And it’s the women job to prove themselves to them…. What happened to the hunters that would pursue women before? That’s so funny. There is a specific type of man who moves through the world as though he is the protagonist of a war nobody else is fighting, and that man will always eventually end up at a podium somewhere warning people about the women who are out to get him.

I’m catholic and of course do not believe in these ridiculous things but I do see what people online say about all of this. I once I admit (and yes I’ve repented for this already) that one time a guy with my friends did a reading on me and I’ve also gotten curious to see if any of it is true. My answer is definitely is something that’s too heavy to get involved with but I do find it funny, very funny all the attention these Etsy Witches get online. There’s nothing I enjoy more than a good drama.

What the city council man and the alpha male podcasters have in common is that they have both mistaken being talked about for being hunted. Women mocking you, cursing you, posting about you in group chats and Facebook groups and TikTok comment sections, is not a coordinated attack on your dignity. It is what happens when you behave in ways that make you memorable for the wrong reasons. The Etsy witch economy did not emerge because women suddenly developed supernatural interests. It emerged because sometimes the only power available to you is symbolic, and at $7.99, symbolic power has never been more accessible. And I’ve never been happier that women are thriving and making bags of money, even if it is through this. Hey you gotta respect the hustle. Very good psychic readers I’ve seen online from reviews I’ve been able to find on reddit are ” SpellsByWanda”, also good casters I’ve seen posted on TikTok is “@desiiiixo”. I find all of this hilarious but also leaving jokes aside I wanna make a warning, to those who like doing weird stuff in Cuba. Remember God is always watching, everything we do. He decides and he is the author of our lives, we are all at his mercy. So be careful about what you do when you try to take matters into your own hands with supernatural forces, cause are you really gonna be able to pay the price of what it means the thing you just did?

Fear God, I fear for those that don’t fear him.

Sir, you are not being persecuted. You are being mocked. There is a difference. One of them costs $7.99.

I’m making more pieces on this. I’m gonna talk about how women were hunted centuries ago and accused of being witches whenever they would do something remarkable, starting with my own personal hero, Joan of Arc.