On narcissistic parents, broken children, and the ones who became exactly what they were trained to be
Parents decide who we are going to be, before we can even talk
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about stories, and how sometimes we relate to them personally. Today I want to talk about Tai Lung, and how the whole world resented him for becoming exactly what his master trained him to be — nothing less than a monster. There is something extremely cruel about being told since you’re a kid that you were meant for greatness and the world was yours. Raised in a cold, violent house where nothing but perfection was expected of him.
Narcissistic parents love telling us, from the moment we are born, what we are going to be later in life. “He is going to be a doctor and go to Med School.” They project their insecurities and frustrations — the things they didn’t accomplish — onto their kids, so they don’t feel like such a big failure or loser. And when the kids don’t turn out to be what they wanted, when their golden child doesn’t become a doctor or an engineer, they resent him for it.
But there’s also the other side of the coin. The darker side. Where you actually do become who they wanted you to be, but you exceeded their expectations — and now they resent you for it. And fear you.
Tai Lung was raised to be the Dragon Warrior from the moment he met Shifu’s. He was the only father figure he ever had. In his own words: “Who filled my head with dreams, who taught me to train until my bones cracked?” The reason villains are so compelling is because they all have a human side that people resonate with. From Death in Puss in Boots to Walter White in Breaking Bad, and even Cersei Lannister in Game of Thrones — they are despicable characters, yes. But they are human. And that’s why audiences fell in love with them. Writers don’t make them soft, sweet, or politically correct. They make real people and real stories, and that’s why viewers connect.
I connected personally with Tai Lung’s story — how he had a complete mental breakdown the moment his destiny arrived and they locked him away. How even after getting out of prison, he still wanted his father’s approval. To make him proud. And his father was only scared of the monster he had created.
But I ask the parents reading this: can you really blame your child for turning out to be the monster you trained him to be?
Leave a Reply